The Two C-Words That Make Me Cringe: Discovering the Art of Agreeing to Disagree

There are two C-words that make me cringe: Camping and Compromise. Let me clarify—I’ve pitched a tent and slept on dirt (okay, an air mattress) every summer for five decades. I've earned the right to opt for the Four Seasons over the forest. So, after a week of wilderness adventures with my family, I found myself sitting down for a much-needed mani-pedi, only to stumble upon a little concept that left me both intrigued and slightly bewildered: Can two people really agree to disagree?

Yes, you heard me right. Apparently, not every relationship needs to devolve into a dramatic showdown or a cold war to resolve a difference of opinion. Who knew? This idea was as foreign to me as flat shoes and unsweetened lattes.

Let’s talk about a recent vacation drama that perfectly encapsulates this newfound revelation. Picture this: Wolfie (my bestie and lighthouse) and I, along with our kids, are lovin’ a day out on the boat. My sense of time is, shall we say, fluid, and I’m having a blast with the kids, extending the boat ride past the scheduled end time. Wolfie, on the other hand, is a stickler for schedules. His trigger? When plans go awry and his timeline is disrupted.

When we finally returned to the dock, Wolfie was frustrated. “It’s hard for me when you‘re running late and when the rest of the day's schedule is messed up!” he said, annoyed that our timeline had slipped and it was our night to make dinner for the camp.

My trigger, on the other hand, was his rigid adherence to the schedule during vacation. To me, vacations are about letting go of time constraints and enjoying the moment. I felt like his insistence on punctuality was overshadowing the spontaneity.

Cue the classic relationship standoff: It was a recipe for a full-blown argument.

But here’s where the magic happened. Instead of letting the disagreement spiral into a full-blown drama, we took a step back and had a healthy conversation. I explained my perspective—that a vacation should allow for a bit of flexibility and spontaneity. He shared his view—that maintaining a schedule, even on vacation, helps him feel organized and less stressed.

To our surprise, we discovered that we could agree that we each had different priorities and that was ok. We also agreed that while I would aim to be more mindful of time, especially for important activities, he would also allow for a bit of flexibility and spontaneity in our vacation plans. It wasn’t about one of us winning or losing; it was about us recognizing that we could have different points of view about the same matter and both are valued.

Lesson #1: Own Your Part in the Play

Claim your part in the conflict (cause you can be toxic too!) This doesn’t mean you’re conceding defeat; it means you’re choosing to acknowledge your own feelings and those of your partners. There’s nothing sexier than a woman who can admit when she’s wrong or hasn’t seen things from another perspective.

Lesson #2: Embrace the Mystery

One of the most exciting parts of a relationship is the mystery—the fact that your partner is an ever-evolving enigma. Agreeing to disagree keeps that mystery alive. It’s like a dance where you don’t always need to lead; sometimes, it’s just as thrilling to follow and see where the dance takes you. After all, who wants to date a mirror image of themselves? Embrace the differences and let them flood new energy and life into your soul.

Lesson #3: The Power of Perspective

Let’s face it: seeing things from another person’s perspective can be a revelation. Wolfie’s acceptance of our differing viewpoints made me realize that my world didn’t implode just because someone dared to have a different opinion. In fact, it expanded. His perspective challenged me to think beyond my bubble, that being late does cause more of a time crunch later on and unnecessary stress. Plus, it’s pretty hot when a man can hold his own without turning every conversation into a duel.

Lesson #4: Compromise Isn’t a Dirty Word

Okay, so I may have a visceral reaction to the word “compromise,” but I’m learning that it doesn’t have to mean defeat or that I’m settling. It’s about finding a balance, a way to coexist without losing your own identity. It’s the hallmark of a true Boss Babe to recognize that true power lies in knowing when to stand firm and when to yield. It’s about looking at your partner as your bestie (would you give your shopping girlfriend that look? No!) and looking at them with softness, understanding, and respect. This kind of maturity and self-assuredness is what makes a woman irresistible.

Lesson #5: Fireworks Without the Burn

Agreeing to disagree isn’t about avoiding conflict; it’s about keeping the passion alive without letting it consume you. It’s the art of maintaining a fiery romance without setting the whole relationship ablaze. When you can look at your partner and say, “I respect your opinion, even if it’s different from mine,” you’re fanning the flames of mutual respect and admiration.

So here’s to the sexy, savvy, and smart art of agreeing to disagree. In a world where we’re often taught to fight for every inch, it’s liberating to learn that sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is let go and enjoy the ride - just don’t forget to put a watch on!