Finally sitting in the spa lounge waiting for the massage appointment I’ve needed for months, I thought about a time when I would never give myself a break like this. And I couldn't help but wonder: Is there a trinity within us, battling for supremacy? A child yearning for safety, a teenager demanding justice, and an adult exhausted and desperate for peace?
When I think about my inner child, I picture a tiny version of myself. Wild, wide-eyed, and feisty. She’s a superhero, a rock star, and a strawberry shortcake all in one. She's the part of me that winces at the thought of crying because I’m supposed to be a tough girl too scared to open up and show that I got hurt.
And then, there's my inner teenager. Oh hell… literally…she’s all fireball—rebellious and explosive. She wants every win. To be at the top of the class, the cheer pyramid, the world, and is genuinely confused as to why it all came tumbling down. She is fueled by a war against the rumors and battles with the bullies, convinced that the world owes her retribution for the times she cried into her pillow.
Finally, there's my adult self. She’s the one who has to turn the dreams into a paycheck, who tries to navigate the complexities of modern life with a semblance of grace and composure. She's exhausted, worn down by judgments, the word “compromise” and a constant internal tug-of-war between the child and the teenager. All she wants is peace—a quiet mind and a serene heart. Oh - and to be loved for who she is.
But here's the twist: Healing isn’t about picking sides. It’s about embracing all parts of ourselves, even the ones we’d rather keep hidden.
My inner child needs to be reassured that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength. It's about letting her know that it's okay to be scared, but that opening up can lead to deeper connections and healing. When I allow myself to be vulnerable with those closest to me, I show her that love, understanding, and acceptance can triumph over fear and pain.
My inner teenager needs validation. She needs to understand that she doesn’t need to care what others think about her. She knows her truth. Justice doesn’t always come in the form we expect, and sometimes, the greatest act of rebellion is to let go and move forward.
And my adult self? She needs to fall in love with her. To realize she is enough. Because no - she’s not only as good as her last show, she is the show. That there is inspiration in her resilience, realization, and rising up. She needs the peace that comes from integrating all the facets of her being. She needs to know that it’s okay to take a break, to prioritize self-care and mental health. She needs to be happy, eat fries, dance, and be free. Because in the end, peace isn’t a destination - it’s about carrying it with you on the journey.
Many therapy sessions later, I learned that my inner child needed to heal from watching toxic relationships. It’s not “just a part of marriage” to yell and call your spouse names. That mental abuse is as hurtful as physical abuse and can be more impactful long term.
Before I left the spa I roamed through the retail section (can never resist) and I noticed a beautiful Quartz tree in the crystal section. Clear and rose quartz intertwined and held together by gold thread growing from a massive quartz rock at the foundation. While I was paying for it, the spa manager told me the tree’s healing energy gathers at the base and then is released through the branches. I asked her what the crystals were meant to heal. She said, “Your inner child.”
How I Healed My Your Inner Child -
1. **Acknowledge**: Recognize the presence of your inner child, teenager, and adult self. Give them a safe space to express their fears, desires, and needs. I love to journal.
2. **Vulnerability Is Strength**: Understand that being open and honest with yourself and others is a courageous act. It’s through vulnerability that we find true connection and healing—being vulnerable forces me to see my true self at my lowest and love myself anyway. Others will too.
3. **Seek Balance**: Strive for harmony between these aspects of yourself. It’s not about silencing one to amplify the other but about finding a way for them to coexist peacefully. Listen to your body. Sleep when your inner teenager is tired of fighting, seek warm blankets and hugs when your inner child needs reassurance, and go out, vaca, and have fun so your adult self doesn’t get burnt out.
4. **Prioritize Self-Care**: Making yourself a priority is a display of strength and a total boss move. I was in denial but now I admit, my adult self needs rest and rejuvenation so don’t back down from taking time for yourself, whether it’s through meditation (love superhero app), therapy, a workout (love 15 min abs on Insta) or dare I say - a nap!
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