A talent coach once told me, "Mae, we want you to be you, but not so much you." Uhhh… what the hell does that even mean? I looked over at the TV monitor to see it freeze-framed on a shot of me with my mouth gaping wide open because I caught the studio kitchen on fire during a cooking segment. I was already prepping myself for that dreaded trip down the long hallway to the news director’s office. But then I thought it was so hilariously and authentically goofy that it made for good TV on a Monday morning. “They” did not. I also learned that if the kitchen towel catches fire, throw it in the pot of boiling water meant for the pasta.
Nevertheless, it was horrible advice, the kind that made me wonder: how much do comments like these diminish women's power?
There are two main reasons why I retired from the news. To sleep and to be free to be me. I couldn't help but think about how often women are told to tone it down, to fit into some mold that society deems acceptable. At a young age, I went to finishing school (the kind with nuns armed with rulers) and was taught to be polite, agreeable, and not rock the boat. We're encouraged to be ourselves, but only within the confines of what's considered "appropriate.”
But here's the thing: being "too much" is where our individual power lies. It's in our distinguished laughter, our passions, our bold choices, and our unapologetic selves. When we're told to be less, we're being told to dim our light. And why should we?
Think about the women who have made history, the trailblazers who have changed the world. Do you think they got there by being "not so much" themselves? Absolutely not. They were fiercely, unapologetically, themselves. They refused to shrink to fit into someone else's idea of who they should be. I grew up watching Barbara Walters - the only woman anchor at the time interviewing presidents and celebrities and leaving the world better for it. I started collecting Vogue magazines in the 1980s as long-time chief editor Anna Wintour taught me that fashion is art and writing can be sexy and seductive. I caught the speed bug as a little girl and was inspired by the first woman to win an Indy car championship. Danika Patrick exemplifies what it looks like when a child lives out her dreams saying, "I believe that each and every one of us has the power within ourselves to create the life that we really want.”
Being fully yourself is a revolutionary act. It challenges the status quo and forces the world to accommodate your brilliance. It means embracing your quirks, your strengths, your vulnerabilities, and your flaws. It means showing up as the full, beautiful, complicated person you are.
When we allow ourselves to be truly seen and stop apologizing for who we are, we unleash a force that the world can’t ignore. We create a ripple effect of authenticity, empowering other women to step into their energy. And that's where real change happens - women uplifting other women. Over 2 decades as a news anchor, I covered every political election during that time. And over and over the biggest supporter of women candidates is not women, but men. Think about that. Be you and be confident in what you uniquely bring to the table to complement rather than compete.
So, to the person who told me to be "not so much" me, thank you, but no thank you. I choose to be fully, unapologetically myself. To be free to be me and all the creative, positive, and progressive ideas that come with being who I am. And I encourage every woman reading this to do the same. To stand up for yourself, whichever version of you comes out that day, and to never let anyone tell you who you should be. Not in the office. Not at home.
Here's to being too much, to breaking the mold, and to living our lives out loud. And celebrating all the parts of our life, the good and the bad that went into making us who we are. Including going to finishing school. It taught me how to be sophisticated, elegant, and to appreciate the beauty and grace of a woman. After all, the world needs more women who are unafraid to be fully, gloriously, themselves.
Comments